Magic Required by Next FM of Wales

THOSE of a certain age will remember Ali Bongo. The magician in curly toed slippers wearing a turban and a fez who looked like a cross between Rolf Harris and Alan Whicker.

Bongo was a former president of The Magic Circle, who performed an act in which he was known as the “Shriek of Araby”. Who can forget his catchphrases “Aldy Bority Phostico Formio”, and “Hocus Pocus Fishbones Chokus”. For the uninitiated it means ‘use smoke and mirrors and hope no one discovers you are a sham’.

Despite being a comedian Bongo could actually produce some great magic tricks. Those following the sideshow for the coronation of the next First Minister of Wales might just as easily liken the comedic claims by the front runners that they can produce some great magic by spending more on schools and tackling NHS waiting lists.

The Jeremy Miles Show begins in Swansea on Saturday where he will demonstrate more magic powers to be devolved to Wales using his magic wand, which has looked like Ron Weasley’s efforts up until now as Education Minister.

On Friday Vaughan Gething unveiled the bag of tricks he will use if he wins. It may turn out to be Pandora’s box unless those terrible folks in ingerrrrland at Westminster are replaced by another wannabe magician, Keir Starmer who plans to invest £28bn a year on low-carbon efforts by the end of the next parliament. Miles wasted no time in tweeting his praise of Starmer on X. Let’s not forget Starmer is the master of the Magic Wallet trick. You simply put £28bn into a pot and it vanishes leaving everyone gasping and asking What the…..

Now Ali Bongo could really hold one’s attention and with slight of hand bamboozle you with a bit of magic you’d be talking about during Bartholomew Jones’ RE lessons or Mr Haddocks science lessons although they did provide great entertainment when things blew up.

Slight of hand or trickery of semantics you decide. But the track record and 20 plus years down the line of devolution and we have not so much weaved any magic at the magic circle in Cardiff but a weak Punch and Judy show with puppets reading from A4 sheets of paper. Miles and Gething’s whoopee cushion episodes in office have not been a great source of fun for most people working under their respective departments.

Whichever one eventually becomes technically the fifth First Minister of Wales Alun Michael being the first albeit under the name of First Secretary, will really have to work wonders to restore faith and trust in the political system in Wales. They might begin by dropping that awful catchphrase, ‘If only we had a Labour government in Westminster’. To that we say ‘”Uju Buju Suck Another Juju’.